The Nameless Sequel
by Ieva
Summary: Girl is back, and is just as crazy as ever. The Matrix has fallen into the control of Them, and Girl along with some friends, both new and familiar, now have to save the day, before...it's just too horrible to even say. [rated for language]
1. Hallucinations

_Disclaimer: You mean I have to come back and write this _again_? I don't own the Matrix, only Girl._

_A/N: gasp It's here! The long-awaited sequel to A Simple Misunderstanding! If you have not read A Simple Misunderstanding, then I strongly suggest that you _go_ read it or you will be lost from the start. _This_ little adventure…quest…THING of Girl (that is going to be her name for always and eternity) and much of the Matrix cast takes place after the end of the first movie and before the beginning of the second. This means that there are some new people (Neo and Link), but also that some of the beloved original cast is now either dead (Switch, Mouse, Apoc, and Cypher) sadness except for about Cypher or pseudo-dead (Smelrond). And not only that, but Girl has now officially watched The Matrix (but not Reloaded or Revolutions) because if she didn't start understanding what the hell had just happened to her, her head would explode. So she is now well-versed in the whole 'Matrix' thing, completely opposite from A Simple Misunderstanding. _Lots_ of new possibilities now. evil grin So without any further rambling, here is Chapter 1, brought to you by All You Awesome Reviewers; "We gave Ieva inspiration and lots of nice presents, so she dedicates this chapter to us." _

'[ ]' denotes action

**Chapter 1: Hallucinations**

_It had been about a year since Girl had been swept into the world of the Matrix and then swept back out again. Since then she had watched the movie and become well acquainted with the world which she had once been almost completely clueless about. And with understanding came much private laughter over things she had said or done during those three days; like how everyone had thought that she was the One…how she had picked 'yellow pill'…and of course how she had driven several people nuts. She never expected to see any of them again. How wrong she was. _

_Girl is walking down a street, deserted on account of the fact that it was undergoing construction. She is listening to music on some headphones and not really paying attention to her surroundings. _

Girl (singing softly along with the music): I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matt-[smashes into a person running down the street] Ack, sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going…

Person: It is no trouble at all. [keeps running]

Girl: stares at Person and thinks _He's wearing a black trenchcoat. And sunglasses. Is he…NO! He isn't be a Rebel. I'm just paranoid._ sees a random Agent jumping over the construction vehicles in the same direction as Person, taking no notice of her _Ooookaaaay…I'm not paranoid. I'm hallucinating. How much sugar have I had in the past hour? A lot. Enough to cause hallucinations? Maybe. Right, that is the _last_ time I have a sugar-packet eating contest with my friends and then drink an entire can of caffeinated Coke while watching The Matrix._

**The Next Day…**

_Girl is now at a crowded flea market looking at lots of random cool junk. She sees a booth thingy that is selling neat fantasy stuff, so she walks over to look at it._

Girl: Oooooooo…pretty…

Person Selling Stuff (to someone else): That will be 5 dollars, dear.

Person Buying: Clara. My name is Clara. [begins to walk off]

Girl: [lifts head and turns to Person Buying, who is walking off into the crowd] Clara? [tries to follow, but soon loses sight of 'Clara' in the crowd] Was that Clara the same Clara who…NO! I think I must be going crazy; there are probably _lots_ of people named Clara here. [puts hand to face] Gawd, I am going _insane_.

**That Night…**

_Girl is on her laptop, completely engrossed in a particularly good fanfiction. That is, she was until her screen went black._

Girl: AAAAAARRRGH!!! STUPID, STUPID COMPUTER!!! [smacks side]

Ominous Green Letters: [appear on screen] Hello.

Girl: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I REALLY _AM_ GOING CRAZY!!!

OGL: No you're not.

Girl: [screams at laptop] YES I AM YES I AM YES I AM!!!

OGL: They're coming for you.

Girl: NO THEY'RE NOT!!! [smacks laptop again]

OGL: Follow the white rabbit, and you will find the truth.

Girl: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! YELLOW!!! I PICK YELLOW!!!

Neo (hiding outside the window, typing the OGL): [arches eyebrow and thinks] _What. The. Hell._

OGL: The lies you have been told can seem like a good dream, but you must wake up and face the harsh dawn.

Girl: [points wildly at screen] YOU'RE BEING OBSCURE ON PURPOSE!!!

OGL: I know why you barely sleep; why night after night you sit at your computer. You're looking for him.

Girl: NO I'M NOT!!! I'M JUST READING FANFICTION AND GETTING HIGH ON SUGAR!!!

OGL: If you do not find the truth, the lies will consume you.

Girl: YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!

OGL: Look, do you want to find him or not?

Girl: NO!!! _HE_ ALREADY FOUND _ME_ AND ONCE WAS _ENOUGH_!!!

OGL: …

OGL: They have almost reached you; if you wish to live, you must jump out your window.

Girl: HOW THE _HELL_ DOES JUMPING OUT A SECOND-STORY WINDOW INTO THE SPIKY-LEAVED BUSHES BELOW HELP ME _LIVE_?!?

OGL: You must trust me.

Girl: At the moment, I trust you about as much as I trust Smelrond to get down on one knee and pledge his undying loyalty to the Rebels.

OGL: …You've seen the movie, haven't you?

Girl: No shit, Sherlock.

OGL: You are one strange OH BLOODY HELL!!!

Girl: Eh?

OGL: He's here [vanishes, leaving the screen black]

_A/N: Hey y'all, I'm really sorry this took so long…I actually haven't finished yet, not even close, but I figured I'd tortured you guys enough by now, so here it is! Updates might take longer (sorry), and ideas are very much welcomed! _


	2. Interesting

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Girl._

_And so the second chapter of the insanity unfolds. Last time there was an evil cliffhanger, because evil cliffhangers are fun. Girl was hallucinating about Matrix people…except not really, she was just convincing herself (they really were there, not hallucinations brought on by unhealthy amounts of sugar) Then came the OGL, or Ominous Green Letters, being obscure and trying to 'free her mind'. Then they suddenly vanished, with the only clue as to why being "he's here". Then the chapter ended. This chapter is brought to you by Saddle-Oxfords & co; "They're not just torture devices for those who wear them, they're torture devices for those whom you kick _while_ you are wearing them!" _

_I only got one review..._

_Calliope-Elven-Agent: This soon enough for you? grins Yay! Now you have a screen name that I can go review the stories of! And since you're my only reviewer for chapter one at this time, you get...POCKY!!!_

**Chapter 2: Interesting**

Girl: Wait! Who's here? DAMMIT!!! [smacks unresponsive laptop and sighs] Ah, well; if it's an Agent or something of the sort I could prob'ly scare 'em off. [stands up, opens door, and walks downstairs] Helloooooooooo…anybody come to get me?

Shadowy Person: [holds up gun] Not to get you. Just to kill you. [steps out of shadows]

Girl: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Smith: Any last words?

Girl: SMELROND!!!

Smith: Eh? There's only one person who calls me that and she…looks exactly like you…[comprehension dawns, and smacks head] Why, out of all people?!? Why is it _you_?!?

Girl: Why is it _you_?!? And didn't you get explodified?

Smith: Shut up. I came back.

Girl: [thinks, then grins evilly] Heeeeey, you're an _exile_ now, aren't yooooou…?

Smith: [stony silence]

Girl: [begins hopping/dancing around Smith in a circle, chanting] Smelrond's an exile! Smelrond's an exile! Smelrond's an exile!

Smith: [fumes]

Girl: [sudden thought] Say, if you're not an Agent anymore, then why the _hell_ are you here?

Smith: Ummm…force of habit?

Girl (smugly): _You _thought they would let you back, _didn't_ you?

Smith: Shut up. Since when did _you_ know so much?

Girl: Well, after I got back, I asked my friends…

Smith: And how did you get away from the Merovingian _and_ the Rebels?

Girl: After they figured out that you had just been using flawed logic when you said that I was the One, the French Miroku Poser sorta kinda kicked me out…

Smith: Hey, _I _wasn't the one who said you were the One!

Girl: But you believed it. And put me in the NetherCube. Which reminds me… [kicks Smith in the knee]

Smith: [clutches knee] What was that for!?!

Girl: You've got three guesses, and the first two don't count. [stomps on Smith's foot of uninjured leg]

Smith: [begins to hop on other foot, alternately clutching foot and knee] OWOWOWOWOW!!!

Girl: Muahahaha! Smelrond doesn't have Agent-speed anymore!

Smith: [still hopping] Were…they for…revenge?

Girl: Only the first one.

Smith: [still hopping] What…was the…second…one for…then?

Girl: Because it looks really funny when you hop like that.

Smith: I'm going…to get…you! [hops after Girl]

Girl: Meeheeheeheeheeheehee! [runs around the room, cackling insanely]

**Some time later…**

_Both of them sit in chairs on the opposite side of the now trashed living room._

Girl: Soooooo, you're an exile now?

Smith: Yes.

Girl: Spiff.

Smith: So why are the Rebels contacting you?

Girl: No clue; they just showed up randomly on my computer screen and started spouting obscure junk, y'know?

Smith: Alice in Wonderland metaphors, I assume?

Girl: No, didn't get around to those, thank God. Sometimes I wonder if that's the only book they_ have_.

Smith: Yeah. So what've _you_ been doing for the past year?

Girl: Reading fanfics, watching sci-fi movies, hallucinating, chanting 'NetherCube' some…not much, really. You?

Smith: Getting explodified and honing my new special cloning power mostly. So you _liked _the name NetherCube?

Girl: Yeah, it's a really spiffy name. How'd you come up with it?

Smith: I had a _lot_ of coffee that day.

Girl: Nice.

_Suddenly, Neo bursts through the door and rushes in._

Neo: Fear not, for I have come to rescue you! You must come and find the Truth!

Girl: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! YELLOW!!! YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW!!!

Smith: [stands and points at Neo] _You_ again?!?

Neo: [turns from Girl and points wildly at Smith] You! You're supposed to be _dead_!

Smith: Am I not? [looks at hands]

Girl: [sees opportunity of escape] _COME_ SMELROND!!! TO THE _BATMOBILE_!!! [grabs Smith's wrist and drags him to the garage and into her car, singing LotR theme loudly] DUN dun da da DUUUN!!! Da da DUN da da DUN da da DUUUN…DUN dun; DUN dun da da DUN…[continues after this, but I'm not going to write it all out]

Neo: [stands in living room, highly confused] What the _hell_…?

Smith: [sits in backseat of Girl's car as she begins to drive into street, also highly confused] What the _hell_…?

Girl: [drives recklessly, although not highly confused, as she is the only one who even _semi_-knows what is going on] Well. [smiles brightly] _That_ was interesting.

_A/N: Wow; you are all also probably just as confused as Neo and Smelrond, give or take a bit. Now organize your thoughts, and begin to realize (But not understand. This is _Girl_ we're talking about, understanding is impossible) what the heck just happened here. Pretty much got it? Good. I will tell you something now. Smelrond is _not_ the villain in this fic. Yep, he is now a quote on quote 'good guy', and will be part of the main group…thingy…ish… ness (since we all know that he's not _really _evil [winks at several reviewers of ASM]). He still hasn't changed much though. Oh, and another explanation of events that have passed, and events that are to come: it has been a year. Everyone still remembers Girl, they just don't recognize that it's her at first, because she is the _last_ person they are expecting. So no, the Rebels and Smelrond were _not_ targeting Girl on purpose (plus Neo wasn't around last time, so he wouldn't understand the 'yellow' thing). And I'm not telling who the villain is; you'll just have to see for yourselves. Muahahaha! _


	3. Movie

_Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything except Girl._

_AN: I am so incredibly sorry about the long wait, can y'all ever forgive me? Anyway, since I made you guys wait so long, and because I got so many nice reviews, I'm going to post _two_ chapters today. Review answers will be at the beginning of chapter 4._

_Last time, we had some fun plot development and plenty of Smelrond-induced insanity, with a little bit of confused Neo mixed in! (not that confused Neo is anything particularily _new_ rolls eyes) Now Smelrond is in a car that is being driven by Girl. Will he survive? You will have to read this chapter to find out! By the way, this chapter is brought to you by Paint Scrapers; "The ultimate tool of the C.A.V.E.!"_

**Chapter 3: Movie**

_Girl is now zooming down city streets, where, fortunately for all involved, there aren't many other people driving on account of the late hour. Smelrond is about to have a heart attack._

Smith: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?

Girl: I'm driving!

Smith: THIS ISN'T DRIVING!!!

Girl: Of course it is! I only _just_ got my license two days ago, after all.

Smith: WHAT?!?

Girl (not paying attention): [puts Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack in, and begins to hum loudly along with the music with eyes closed] DUN da da da da DUN dun dun DUN da da da da DUN dun dun…

Smith: WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!

Girl: [swerves just in time] Stupid trees, they're always jumping into the road….

Smith (hyperventilating): You…are going…to get…both of us…killed…

Girl: No I'm not!

Smith: Yes…you are…can you…stop…the car…now…I think…you lost…the Rebels…

Girl: Hang on, we're almost there.

Smith: Almost where?

Girl: The movie theater. I want to see Return of the King again.

Smith: And let me guess; I'm going with you.

Girl: Yep.

Smith (thinking): _I'm going to die. Again._

**About 10 stomach-wrenching minutes later…**

Girl: [drags Smith up to ticket-guy] Two for Return of the King, please. [pays, then drags Smith inside theater lobby]

Smith: _Now_ what?

Girl: Popcorn, silly!

Smith: [sulks against wall while Girl waits in line]

Girl: [looks around while waiting, then notices three people walk inside] Clara?!? One?!? Two?!?

Clara: [looks around, then sees Girl] Oh my gosh, you! [runs over]

Girl: Hi Clara! [turns to Twins] Hi One! Hi Two! What are you all doing here?

Clara: I'm dragging One and Two to see RotK.

Girl: I'm going to see that right now too! And _I'm_ dragging Smelrond along with me!

Two: _Him_? Why are you with him? We thought you hated him.

Girl: He showed up at my house after the Rebels sent their weird green-letter thingy to me. Then Neo showed up and tried to 'rescue' me, y'know? So I dragged him off, and drove here 'cause I wanna see this movie again.

One: That still doesn't make much sense to us.

Two: Or us.

Clara: Whatever, let's all sit together!

Girl: Yay! Oi, Smelrond! C'mon! [buys popcorn and heads for theater, followed by Clara and the Twins]

Smith: [follows as well, muttering] Don't _call_ me that…

**Later, during the movie…**

--Elrond: Hello Aragorn.--

Smith: Hey, he looks like me! But with long hair and pointy ears!

Girl (whispering): That's Elrond.

One (whispering): We're right, he _does_ look like his long-lost twin brother!

Two (whispering): We _told_ us!

Clara: Ssshhh!

Smith: But how is that possible? He looks exactly like me! But he's not real!

Girl & Clara (loud whisper): Quiet!!!

Smith: Am I being stalked? Is it the Rebels? [is hit with several empty drink cups]

Everyone in the theater: SHUT UP!!!

Smith: Geeze, fine, fine. [thinking] _I hate humans._

_A/N: Heeheehee…tormenting Smelrond is fun. And now the Twins are back! and there was much rejoicing And Clara! more rejoicing Oh, and just pretend that RotK is still in theaters, 'cause it was when I wrote this chapter._


	4. Fangirl Trouble

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix. I don't own the rabid fangirls, either._

_Last time on 'The Nameless Sequel', poor Smelrond was introduced to Girl's insane driving, complete with trees that jump into the road! Then Girl dragged Smelrond to see LotR: RotK, where they met up with Clara and the Twins! Then Smelrond got yelled at for talking during the movie! All in all, a pretty fun chapter. Now for Chapter 4, brought to you by Several Poorly Written Matrix Fics; "We gav teh auther teh idea for this cahpter!11" _

_I got lots of reviews this time, yay!_

_Calliope-Elven-Agent: Nope, not Neo. Someone worse. And again, sorry 'bout the wait._

_bloodredcherry: Whoops, missed that one. Hehehe...thank you for your compliments on my random one-time characters!_

_NyanMoon-Sama: Hi Brownie Child! Wow, pocky? Yay! [throws confetti on you in thanks] I would post my schedule...but I already lost it. [sweatdrops]_

_sentinalsquiddie: Thanks! Your review made me happy. _

_Dreamstrifer: Yes, the Twins are here! And no, they won't be separated this time. I don't want to be too mean to them. Wow, my sugar-induced stories are beautiful? Okay, you definitely get some pocky for that one! [gives box of pocky] Your review made me very happy. By the way, I really like your Fresca Files stories. _

_Maru-sha: So sorry about the review to your story. It's not the plot that's the main problem, it's mostly the grammar. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that trying to read it gave me a headache. (sorry, but it's true) Your character developement and origianality could use some work too. Just some constructive criticism here. _

**Chapter 4: Fangirl Trouble**

_The movie is over, and Girl, Smelrond, Clara, and the Twins are exiting the theatre._

Girl: So, how have you guys been doing?

Clara: Pretty good.

Two: Except for the fact that the Merovingian's accent is constantly driving us up the wall.

One: And he seems to be getting more senile by the day.

Girl: Ouch.

_Then, they are noticed by a pack of Rabid Matrix Fangirls._

Random Rabid Fangirl #1: SMITH!!!

Random Rabid Fangirl #2: TWINS!!!

All Rabid Fangirls: [begin stampeding towards the hapless group]

Girl: RUN AWAAAAAAY!!!

All: [begin running frantically, attempting to escape the Rabid Fangirls]

Random RF: I LUV U SMITHIKINS!11!1

Smith: _Smithikins_…?

Random RF: TWINSIES R TEH KULEST!!11111

One & Two (simultaneously): _Twinsies…_?

Clara (to Girl): How…the hell…do they talk…in chatspeak…?

Girl (to Clara): I…have no clue…I think…it's just…a special…Rabid Fangirl power…

Clara (to Girl): Yeah…that's probably…it…

_Then there followed an elaborate chase through alleys, over fences, and across rooftops. But still the fangirls chased them, shouting out (in chatspeak) embarrassing pet names for the poor Twins (Smelrond doesn't count because he already _has _one that he is called very, very often). Then our group took a wrong turn and wound up at the dead end of a narrow alley, with the Rabid Fangirls closing in._

Girl: ONE!!! TWO!!!

Clara: GHOST THROUGH THE WALL!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!

One & Two: But…

Girl & Clara: JUST GO!!!

One & Two: [look very sad] All right… [ghost through the wall to safety]

Girl: Well, Clara, it was nice knowing you.

Clara: You too.

Smith: What about _me_?!?

Girl & Clara: [give Smith The Look]

Smith: grumble stupid mumble…

Random RF #1: UR MY FAVRIT CHAR EVR SITH11!1

Random RF#2: N0 H35 7H3 3VL B4D GUY!1! I H8 HIM!11 7H3 7WIN5 4R3 7H3 B357!111!

Clara (whispering to Girl): Oh bloody hell, they can talk in 1337 _too_?!

Girl (whispering to Clara): Never underestimate the powers of the Rabid Fangirls.

Random RF #1: HES NOT EVL!1!1 HES JSUT MISUNDRSTUD11!

Smith: MISUNDERSTOOD!?! I AM _NOT_ MISUNDERSTOOD!!! [begins to leap towards the Rabid Fangirls, planning to obliterate them]

Girl: [restraining the furious Smith] NO!!! Your powers are no match for theirs!

Clara: [also restraining him] You will be glomped before you can even obliterate _one _of them!

_Meanwhile, the Rabid Fangirls have broken into a death match over which character is best._

Random RF #1: AJENT SITH IS TEH ROXXORS!111111

Random RF #2: 7WIN5!1!1!11

Random RF #3: MORFUES IZ BETS!!1

Random RF #4: NO I75 N30!11!

Random RF #5: I LIK TEH MERVINGEEAN1111!

Random RF #3: OMG THAT IS SOOOO NOT KUL!11

Random RF #1: YAH TEH MIRAVIJEN SUXX1111!1

Random RF #2: 4ND H3 H45 4 R33LLY B4D 4X3N7!111!

Random RF #4: UR R33LLY 57UPID1111!1!

_By now, Girl, Clara, and Smith are casually leaning against the wall and watching the Rabid Fangirls duke it out with a good deal of amusement._

Clara: Now, what's _really_ interesting is that none of them can even spell their "favorite character's" _name_ right.

Girl: Or they spell it with 1337, which _technically_ isn't right.

Smith: And they've all ganged up on that one who likes the ahem 'Mervingeean'.

Clara: And the one who likes 'Morfues' is rather vindictive, by the looks of things.

Girl: And I _never_ _knew_ that you were an evil dark lord from a galaxy far, far away, 'Ajent Sith'.

_Then, a rope ladder drops down from the top of the wall._

Two: Miss us?

Girl: [climbs up] Where'd you get the ladder?

One: That crowd down there, ironically enough. What with all their chatspeak and misspellings, they somehow managed to create a Plot Hole, which the ladder fell out of.

Clara: [climbs up] Interesting. I didn't know they could do that.

Smith: [begins to climb up]

Two (telepathically to One): _So, should we let go of the ladder now?_

One (telepathically to Two): _No, we haven't tortured him enough yet. Leaving him to the mercy of the Rabid Fangirls would be too quick._

Two (telepathically to One): _Good point. When we get revenge, we get _revenge_._

Both: _Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! _


	5. IRFC

_Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it, and I probably never will. Drat._

_A/N: Last time, our group was attacked by a horde of vicious, chatspeaking Rabid Fangirls! Fortunately, they escaped with the help of a ladder from a plot hole that was, ironically, inadvertently created by the fangirls themselves. Now, what the heck are they going to entertain us with next, I wonder? Let's watch and find out…Oh, and this chapter was brought to you by The Random Annoying Questions Generator: "If you're looking for random annoying questions to ask, then look no further!"_

_And now...review answering time!_

_Dreamstrifer: Glad you liked the Pocky! I'm a Literary Snob too...chatspeak is the spawn of evil-evil, second only to the dreaded Mary-Sue. Out of your stories, Misadventures of Madness was my favorite. I was laughing so hard I fell out of my chair._

_Sentinal Squiddie: Yay for you! [throws confetti] And yes, the Twins will most definitely have their revenge on Smelrond...fufufufufu..._

**Chapter 5: IRFC**

_After their narrow escape, the group, which now included Girl, Smelrond, Clara, One, and Two, was standing in yet another alley, far, far away from the one that contained the Rabid Fangirls._

Girl: Sooo…now what are we gonna do?

Clara, One, and Two: [think] _Obliterate Smith in some unimaginably violent way. _[end thinking] We dunno.

Everyone except Smith: [whip heads around to face Smith] Well?

Smith: [sweatdrops, as he has doesn't know] Ummm…we could…um…go and…uh…

Girl: WAIT!!! I HAVE AN IDEA!!!

Smith: [looks extremely relieved]

Everyone else: What is it?

Clara: Is it something fun?

Girl: [nods] Mmhmmm…

One: Is it something insane?

Girl: [nods slightly faster] Mmhmmmmm…

Two: Is it something hilariously funny?

Girl: [nods really fast, then jumps up and down] We're gonna go an' frighten some Rebels!

Clara: Yay!

Two: How?

Girl: Well…here's what I was thinking we could do… [whispers plan] And we shall be henceforth known as…The IRFC! The Insane Rebel Frightening Club! Okay, let's go find some Rebels!

**Later…**

_Two male Rebels, Digit and Raven, are doing reconnaissance in yet another dingy alleyway, with a high wooden fence at the back making it into a 'dead end'. Their conversation is interrupted when Girl scrambles over the fence, loudly and with much unnecessary noise, looking sneaky._

Girl: [looks around and darts behind a trashcan, Mission Impossible style, loudly humming the James Bond theme] Doo doo dee doooo dee doo dooooo…doo deedee doooo doo doodoooo… [zigzags between various 'cover' until she reaches the incredulous Rebels] DÉJÀ VU!!!

Raven: What?!

Digit: Who are you?!

Girl: My name is unimportant, but…[stage whisper] There is no spoon!

Raven (takes out phone): Operator, who the bloody hell is this?

Girl: Oooooooo! Who're 'ya talkin' to?

Digit: Quiet, and don't move.

Girl: Why not?

Digit: Because I said so.

Girl: [singsong voice] That's not a real _rea_-son.

Digit: I don't care!

Girl: You should care.

Operator (over phone): She's just a normal coppertop.

Girl: Am not! [proudly] _I'm_ a delegate from a race of sentient machines who want to take over the world and turn all of humanity into _batteries_!

Digit: WHAT?!?

Raven: You _are_?!

Girl: Nope.

Digit: Oh.

Reven: I think you ought to come with us.

Girl: Why?

Raven: We need to tell you some stuff.

Girl: Can I have a pair of cool sunglasses?

Digit: Whatever, come on.

Girl: YAY! [sings and dances] _Sun_glasses, _sun_glasses, spif-fy awe-some _sun_glasses! [waves hand in the air as a signal to the others, then follows the Rebels and gets in their car]

Raven: [starts car and begins driving]

Digit: Operator, we're bringing the girl to the HQ, can you get ready by the time we get there?

Operator: You bet. We'll be waiting. [hangs up]

Raven: Sooo…where exactly did you get that idea about the sentient machines?

Girl: [thinks] The weird dudes in suits. They asked me lotsa questions about stuff.

Digit: [nervous] What sort of stuff?

Girl: Ummm…Whether or not I was the one who sent their database a virus that makes pink elephants fly across their computer screens.

Raven: Were you?

Girl: No. They also spouted a bunch of stuff about sentient machines and human batteries, and told me to steer clear of strange people in trench coats. Then I woke up.

Digit: Were there any, um…freaky silver bugs anywhere in your dream?

Girl (cheerfully): No!

Raven: [sigh of relief] That's good.

Girl: [evil grin] Where are we going? Why is it taking so long? Do you know how to drive? I don't think you do. Do you like Alice in Wonderland? Do you think Lewis Carroll was on drugs? I don't think he was. Disney was on drugs, though. Why did they cut stuff from the book just so they could add stuff that wasn't even _in_ the book? [sudden inspiration] Do you like _computers_? I like _computers_. They sure use up a lot of _energy_, don't they?

Digit and Raven: [eyes begin twitching slightly]

Girl (continuing): Do you talk to your computer? Are you from the government? Are you secret agents? Why is the sky blue? Do you believe in aliens? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

_Girl went on like this for the rest of the car trip, and by the time they had reached one of those dilapidated old building that Rebels like so much, this one being the HQ of Digit and Raven's crew, both Rebels felt like smashing something. They refrained, however, and Girl's incessant questions stopped as soon as she left the car. The three of them walked up some dilapidated old stairs and through a dilapidated old door into a dilapidated old room with some dilapidated old furniture in it. It doesn't look nearly as foreboding as Morpheus' 'house-thingy' did in the movie, seeing as how it is not a dark and stormy night, but a bright and sunny afternoon. _

Raven (looks around and whispers to Digit): They aren't here yet, what should we do?

Digit (whispers to Raven): Maybe we should just start without them.

Raven: I guess… [goes to sit in a dilapidated old armchair] So…girl…do you ever feel like there is something wacked about the world?

Digit: Like something isn't exactly right?

Girl: All the time! Wait…are you two _psychologist_ secret agents or something?

Raven: No! We're just trying to…oh, bloody hell, this is harder than it looks…

_It was at that very moment, that Smith, Clara, One, and Two burst, skipping, through the door. They were, you guessed it, dressed up as…the Truce Fairies. Meaning that they were wearing N64 controllers around their necks, wearing bubblegum machine crowns, and waving faerie princess sparkle star wands in one hand and lightsabers in the other._

Digit: What the hell…?

'Truce Fairies': [singsong chant] We are the Truce Fairies and we love everything and we stand for peacefullness and everything nice!

Girl: [waves happily] Hi guys!

Raven: [frantically talking into cell phone] Operator, what the hell are these…things?!

Operator: Well, it looks like two ex-Agents, and two- no, scratch that- _one_ other program.

Clara and Two: [grab Digit's hands and begin dancing him around in a circle, still chanting about happy peacefullness]

Digit: [panicking] Raveeeen! Help meeeee!

Smith (standing off to one side, muttering): If they think I'm going to skip, they have another think coming…

_And it was at _that _very moment, that a group of people burst through the door and stopped dead at the sight of the chaos within._

People: Huh?

----------------------------------------

_Sorry this took so long; school is on it's way [ominous music plays and lightning flashes] and I've been kinda busy. Next chapter might take a little while too. For some reason, my muse lives at school, and frequents math class, so expect more updates when school starts! (I know that sounds backwards, but whatever)_


	6. Attack of the Sues

_Disclaimer: Nope, I definitely don't own the Matrix._

_Last time, Girl, Clara, the Twins, and Smith were bored, so they formed the IRFC! After stumbling upon two Rebels, Digit and Raven, Girl proceeded to frighten them, and they brought her to a decrepit old house to be freed. Of course, this was all part of the plan, and in the middle of the speech, the poor Rebels were interrupted by the rest of the IRFC, all decked out as Truce Fairies and singing. After some fun randomness, some People burst in. This chapter is brought to you by Theology class: "Nothing much to do on the first day, is there?"_

_I gots reviews! Yayness!_

_Calliope-Elven-Agent: Darn that silly 'ole real life. You are forgiven. _

_NyanMoon-Sama: Reading your review made me laugh…heehee, Koinu-chan…_

_Dreamstrifer: No, not the IRS. And of course you can't have more than one Merry! Then Merry wouldn't be so unique and special! Heh, poor Rebels is right._

**Chapter 6: Attack of the Sues**

People: Huh?

_The people are then revealed to be Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus._

Neo: [points at Girl] You!

Girl: [big fake smile and wave] Hi. [turns to Trinity and waves more happily] Hiiiiii, Trinity!

Trinity: [double-take] It's you! I remember you! What are you doing here?

Girl: Truce Fairies! [points to Smith, Clara, and the Twins] Them too!

Trinity: [looks at Smith all decked out in Truce Fairy attire, and begins laughing hysterically]

Neo (still on his pointing track): [points at Smith] And you! [points at Twins] And you! [points at Clara] And…wait, who are _you_? I don't know _you_. Oh well, you too!

Morpheus: I remember you, you're that Yellow Pill Girl…

Raven: I am _so_ confused…

Digit: You are not alone.

_Suddenly, out of nowhere, a girl with long, flowing, silver hair; green eyes; and a pink trenchcoat appeared._

Girl: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! IT'S A MARY-SUE!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!

Mary-Sue: OMG LOL OMG lyke, I found tem!111!!11 all in 1 place lol rotflmao omg11111!!one1eleven!1

Disembodied Booming Voice: V NICE I WILL TAK OVRE FRUM HRE

Girl and Clara: [clutch ears in agony] Our ears, our poor, poor ears! Make the chatspeak stooooop…

Girl and Clara: [clutch ears in agony] Our ears, our poor, poor ears! Make the chatspeak stooooop…

Trinity (who has by now stopped laughing): [freaks out] Déjà vu! That was déjà vu! What did they change!? What did they change!?

Neo: omg im so kyoot and angsty and junk [throws arm over face and angsts]

Smith: im so ebil DIE NEO DIE rawr!111!1

One: lol im a crzy ebil program im hott

Two: so tru rotflmao

Morpheus: dude im a broring ugly drugie lol

Trinity: i had a horible childhood adn im secretly suicidal and stuff

Clara: So that's what was changed…

Girl: Somebody's infiltrated the minds of all the canon characters, forcing them to act as they would in a Mary-Sue…

Raven: But how?

Digit: And who?

Girl: I don't know, but we have to snap them out of it before they start going slashy or something…

Girl, Clara, Digit, and Raven: [collective shudder]

Clara: I'll work on the Twins…

Girl: I'll fix Smelrond…

Digit: I'll take Neo and Trinity…

Raven: And I'll get Morpheus.

All: Right! [go to their respective people]

Clara: One! Two! Snap out of it! [shakes their shoulders]

Raven: Morpheus, free your mind! Hey, wait…

Digit: Neo? Trinity? Come on, guys!

Girl: Smelrond, resist it! Resist the Sues! [yells in his ear] RESIST!!!

Disembodied Booming Voice: IT IS USELESS TO RESIST!111!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!11!eleven1one

Girl: Resistance is never futile! [smacks Smith on the head] DAMMIT SMELROND, RESIST!!!

Smith: Owww…[rubs head] What just happened, now?

Girl: It worked! Everyone, smack your person on the head!

Clara: [smacks Twins on the head]

One and Two: Huh…? What's going on…?

Digit and Raven: We can't smack them!

Digit: Neo's the One!

Raven: Morpheus is our captain!

Both: And Trinity will beat us up!

Disembodied Booming Voice: U WILL NOT FREE TEM!11!!1

Girl: Oh? And what's stopping us, pray tell? [moves to smack Neo] Hehe…I've been wanting to do this…

Disembodied Booming Voice: THIS IS11!1

Girl, Clara, Smith, Digit, Raven, One, and Two: [vanish in a cloud of pink sparkles]

Disembodied Booming Voice: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA111!!!111

_A/N: Eh, this chapter kinda dragged a bit. Sorry it took so long; can all of y'all forgive me? The next one should be here faster; school's started and this is what I write on when I'm bored in class (which happens a lot). _


	7. The Train Station

_Disclaimer: No no, I don't own it, no I don't…haha, too much sugar this morning! [bounces off the walls]_

_Last time, we introduced the canon Rebels, Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus, and there was some pointing and laughing and confusion. But then, a Mary-Sue popped out of nowhere, accompanied by a Disembodied Booming Voice! Using déjà vu, it took over the minds of Smith, the Twins, Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity, forcing them to act as they would in a particularily bad Mary-Sue fanfiction! Smith and the Twins were cured by a smack on the head, but before the Rebels could be saved, everyone except those three vanished in a cloud of pink sparkles! This episode is brought to you by the Train Man: "I am oh _so_ freaky."_

_I got reviews, and here are my replies:_

_Dreamstrifer: You're always the first to review a new chapter. Thanks for your many compliments. I hope you did well in your Russian class!_

_NyanMoon-sama: Thanks Brownie Child! And thanks to Sesshoumaru too. _

_Bloodredcherry: There you are! I had been wondering where you had gone off to. Nope, never can have too much evil laughter; it's what makes the world go round._

**Chapter 7: The Train Station**

_The scene is the Train Station, where there are already several programs being held. There is the Architect, the Oracle, and an unknown exile who looked like a teenage girl with big floppy rabbit ears. Soon there are more occupants, as in a cloud of pink sparkles, Girl, Clara, Smith, the Twins, Digit, and Raven appear._

Girl: Where the_ hell_ are we?!

Clara: Ooh, ooh, I know where we are! We're in the Train Station!

Girl: We got sent to a _train_ _station_?

Two: Not _a_ train station! _The_ Train Station!

One: It's how programs get from the Matrix to the Machine World.

Clara: Mero is in charge of it.

One: No, the Train Man is in charge of it, and the _Merovingian_ is in charge of the Train Man.

Clara: Oh yeah.

Girl: So _how_, pray tell, did we get here?

One: We dunno.

Two: Not a clue.

Clara: Don't look at me.

Smith: I feel left out…[looks over at Digit and Raven, who scoot away nervously] I'm so ignored…[is suddenly jumped on from behind by the Rabbit Girl] Ack…what…who…someone help me…

Rabbit Girl (happily): Now you're not ignored! I'm Usagi-chan, and I used to be the program in charge of rabbits, but I got exiled 'cause I was too bouncy and hyper, and I wasn't very inconspicuous like programs are supposed to be. But that's okay, because the rabbits still obey my every command! Soon I will create a rabbit army and use it to take over the world! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Girl: [looks over to Usagi-chan] I _like_ you. You should let go of Smelrond now, though, before you strangle him…or vice versa…

Raven: Hey, is that the Oracle?

Two: And the Architect?

Oracle and Architect: [glaring at each other]

Architect: [blinks] Dammit…

Oracle: Hah! You blinked! I win!

Digit: The Oracle and the Architect having a staring contest…now _that's_ something you don't see every day…

Girl: Wait, Oracle? COOKIES!!! [runs over to the Oracle] Oracle, Oracle! Do you have any cookies?

Oracle: [gives Girl a strange look] No, child, I don't have any cookies…

Girl: Aaawwww…wait! [turns to Architect] Do you have any fried chicken?

Architect: [gives Girl an even stranger look than the Oracle gave her] Why the hell would I have fried chicken?

Girl: Oh, come on! _Everyone_ knows that you secretly run Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Architect: No I don't, ergo, I don't have any fried chicken with me.

Girl: [starts jumping up and down excitedly] HE SAID 'ERGO'!!! HE SAID 'ERGO'!!!

Architect: [begins slowly backing away] Yeeeessss…I did say that…

Girl: [still jumping up and down] SAY IT AGAIN SAY IT AGAIN!!! NONONO, SAY 'CONCORDANTLY'!!!

Architect: Ummm…concordantly?

Girl: HE SAID IT HE SAID IT HE SAID IT!!!

Oracle: [silently laughing at the Architect's discomfiture]

Everyone else: [walks up]

Clara: While you were over here, Usagi-chan told us why we were here.

Usagi-chan: Well, you guys resisted the Sues, so you're being held prisoner here. Oh, and by the way, the Rabid Fangirls have invaded the Architect's TV room, stuck him in here, and are now in control of the entire Matrix. They're the ones who sent the Sues out to capture all the canon characters and brainwash them into behaving as they would in a Mary-Sue fanfiction. The Oracle resisted too, so that's why she's here.

Two: Why are you here, then.

Usagi-chan: Oh, that would be because of my _other_ purpose.

Smith: You have two purposes? What's the other one?

Usagi-chan: Well, you know how the Architect's purpose is to balance the equation, and the Oracle's purpose is to unbalance it?

Everyone: [nods]

Usagi-chan: Well, _my_ other purpose is to unbalance the equation even _more_! [steeples fingers evilly] Heeheeheeheeheehee…[unsteeples fingers] Anyway, the Rabid Fangirls found that out rather quickly, and since they didn't want me causing any _more_ trouble for them, they put me in here.

Girl: Okay, so now we know who and most of the why. The rest of the why is this: what the heck is so special about this Train Station anyway?

Two: Well, the Train Man controls everything that happens in here, and if he doesn't want you to get out, you will not get out.

Trainman: Right you are.

Raven: Gwah! Where'd you come from?!

Clara: AAAAAHHHHH!!! NOT THE TRAIN MAN!!! [runs to a corner and curls in fetal position, mumbling to herself] Train Maaan…he's hee-ere…creepy creepy Train Maaan…he's going to eat meee…

Girl: EEK!! [runs and hides behind Smith] Smelrond, you have to protect me from the creepy psycho hobo guy!

Smith: What, _me_? Why do _I_ have to protect _you_? Who's going to protect _me_?

Usagi-chan: [jumps forward, pokes Train Man, then jumps back. Does this several times]

Train Man: [head whips around to look at Usagi-chan. Eyes narrow slightly]

Usagi-chan: Meep! [also runs and hides behind Smith] Protect me too!

One: [steps forward] Let us all out, Train Man. We outrank you on the Merovingian's status ladder.

Two: You're right, us! We _do_ outrank him.

Train Man: Heh, not anymore. Mervy's been demoted, and the Sues have taken over the Chateau. Oh, and I've been promoted; I now outrank you two. So I don't have to do anything you say. See ya later…a lot later. [grins evilly and vanishes into thin air]

Girl: Well…this can't be good.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' (I keep having to change the bloody thing...grrr...)

_A/N: The Train Man really, really scares me. And yes, the Architect does in fact secretly own KFC! Oh, and I 3 Digit and Raven! Only Rebel characters I've ever created, and probably the only ones I ever will…that I like, anyway. _


End file.
